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I sat down and thought ‘what am I doing here’

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So, some of you might be wondering how I’m finding university life.

To put it simply, I still have no idea what university life is like.

To be honest, in the run-up to university I found myself having extremely diverse feelings about it.

I was looking forward to studying creative writing but as for moving away, well, I had less enthusiasm than a lamb in a lion enclosure.

If I’m honest, I knew a while ago that I wasn’t quite ready to move out yet,
and while I watched friends of mine opt to study at
Northampton, I bit the bullet and went to The University of Derby anyway (or, the halls at least).

So I was sitting on my bed in my halls, parents already well on their way back down the M1 and I just had this moment where I thought “what the hell am I doing here”.

I realised then that I’d gone along with the whole moving away thing because I just thought it was what you’re supposed to do.

But it’s not for everyone and as I looked around my room full of boxes I knew it wasn’t for me.

Now, I know what a lot of you would have said “stick it out for a few weeks, see how you feel” and that’s fair enough.

The problem is, however, that once you enrol you
automatically owe the university 25 per cent of your course fees.

In my case, that would have been £2,000.

So I had a choice to make: do I stay, even though I’m certain I’ve made the wrong decision or do I leave and be free of £2,000 debt?

It was fairly easy and, against most people’s wishes, I left university that same night.

Despite being relieved in every sense of the word, I couldn’t help but feel I’d let people down.

But the decision I made was made for me, by me and I know it was the right one.

My impromptu gap year is currently consisting of working at my weekend job, doing work experience as an English teaching assistant and writing for publications to ensure I keep my passion for English alive.

I’ll soon be applying to go to The University of Northampton next year and I can honestly say, with the pressure of university gone, I’m back to my normal happy self.

So my advice to anyone applying to university this year is this; Don’t let fear hold you back, but don’t let fear cloud your judgement of what you really want to do.




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